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So right now you're probably saying to yourself (or your computer screen, if you're the sort that talks to computers) "Where are the pictures? Last time I came here there were pictures."

Well, suffice it to say those were frozen moments of a happier time. A time now passed. Left in the dirt like a crushed cigarette butt after one last good drag.

Now you're probably thinking "What is the Illusion then? Why am I here at all?". I'll tell you.

The Illusion is happiness. That anyone could truly be happy for more than a brief flickering moment is the biggest lie in the history of mankind, save possibly for organized religion.

Life is an endless stream of misery, with little bits of happiness slipped in here and there to put you off your guard. That way when the next terrible thing slams into you, like a freight train wrapped in razor wire, you can fully experience and appreciate how much it hurts.

The next question is, I suppose, "That doesn't sound so great. What can I do about it?". You've got several options I guess. (Forgive me for oversimplifying various things here, but I'm not in a very good mood right now.)

1) Get drunk. In light of the fact that alchohol is a depressant, and you could become an alchoholic thus compounding your problems, it makes a poor long-term solution. In the short-term, though, it does deaden the pain.

2) Become a Christian. Just keep telling yourself "It's all part of God's (or occasionally Satan's) plan" and if you tough it out and be good you'll go to Heaven and be happy for eternity. Sounds good, but it would kinda' suck if they're wrong and we all just end up dust in a box. Or if, for instance, the Buddhists are right. On to Buddhism.

3) Become a Buddhist. Tell yourself that all existance is suffering and that it's caused by your desires and those of others. And if you're really good and don't want anything you'll get a better shake in the next life. Yeah, but what if the strict Karmic interpreters are right and because you maliciously killed some bugs as a kid you get reincarnated as a 3'rd world peasant destined to die horribly in a Guatemalan torture chamber? Hmmm...starting not to sound so great either, eh? From my perspective most religions, mainstream or alternative, have similar problems as regards what to do about life. There is one belief system you might try though...

4) Become a Taoist. Stop fighting against life and just learn to accept whatever happens for what it is. Become like water and flow over and around your problems. This is a great way to view life, but the trouble is it's REALLY hard. If you can manage it I salute you. You're a better man or woman than I.

5) Become a Pessimist. Harden your heart against it. This, I've found, actually works quite well. IF, and that's a somewhat large if, you can keep your guard up. If it can't get in it can't hurt you. This has served me fairly well over the years, though I slipped up and got creamed again recently. Hey, no one's perfect and life is sneaky. Oh well.

Just remember:

Pessimism is a "Win-Win Situation"

Always expect the worst to happen.

That way, when it does, you can say "I told you so".

Everyone likes being right.

And if something doesn't go wrong for a change, well isn't that a nice surprise.

"Lovely" you're thinking. "If that's all there is then why do we exist at all?"

Near as I can make out there are two possibilities. One is that we exist for whatever gods or powers there are to mock, torment and lie to. The other is that we exist because of an extremely improbable chemical accident eons ago and the results thereof, and we're on our own.

All that you can be sure of, barring some philoshophical mumbo-jumbo, is that we exist. And we'll never know why. Deal with it.

One last thought: You'll notice that I didn't mention suicide as an option. That's because in my opinion only losers, cowards and crazy people kill themselves. Who'd like to be remembered as one of those? You could also consider all the potential religious aftereffects of it, if you're of that sort of persuasion. It is, after all, a sin in just about every major religion. That means, of course, that after all the trouble you went to to kill yourself you get to go to Hell. And you thought you had it rough here?

Prior contents of this page deleted due to it being too damn painful for me to look at anymore.

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